Thank goodness Dr. Lamprey recommended Terminal Tours. Doc told me I’d be much more comfortable in water, that to whatever extent possible I should live out my life like some kind of bobbing cork—my damaged balance center would be soothed (or at least usefully confused) by buoyancy. Don’t ask me how, but it works . . . and Michael Keever, ever accommodating, arranged to have me dragged behind one of his boats on a specially designed boogie board (The Autopsy Table, we call it—har har)—through warm seas the world over. Instead of drug ports and hair loss, the main side effects of my treatment have been pruny toes and sunburn. Thank you, Michael. Thank you.
P.S. I’ve enclosed a picture of me—looking a bit like Elton John, if I do say so myself—frolicking with my dolphin friend Cooter.